Star Wars: The Pouty Teenager Strikes Back


I’ve been rewatching the Star Wars prequels with my boys. The pain! There’s some great lightsaber action, but the story arc still really hurts me.

I mean, what actually happens in this series?

Episode I: The Phantom Menace. Darth Vader has a crush on his baby sitter.

Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Darth Vader goes on a picnic with his girlfriend.

Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Darth Vader pouts his way across to the Dark Side.

Whatever happened to being seduced by unlimited power? The story we get is more like Beverly Hills 90210 in space: Dylan has a tanty in detention over some girl. And then Brandon chops his legs off.

I had to read my own alternate history of Star Wars to help myself feel better. It’s been a while since I looked at it, but that little exercise is still really good, even though I’d probably change a few things now. Take a look at it if you’re … you know … a big nerd like me.

Toby VaderMy 8 year old loves Star Wars too, and looks great with a lightsaber.