Semicolon tattoo

I’m not a tattoo guy but I really like the idea behind the semicolon tattoo. It is the superhero story of punctuation; the humble semicolon called to greater pu...

Happy meat

I know a guy who stopped traffic to save worms from being run over. He spent an hour rescuing what he said was “all the worms in Mount Albert”. Later that night...

Art is not your enemy

If you consider yourself to be an advocate of the poor and the disadvantaged, please know that you are not alone. Please also remember that the art community is...

Old age and the sunset

“Think more of the joy and not the sorrow. And don’t take offence. All I can wish for is to get well or die. And I don’t mind which. I’m over the hump. I’m used...

Good people

... There are good people in the world. You probably know some of them. They’re easy to spot because they usually “have a heart” for something. They have a hear...

Sex appeal

... It’s time for a revamp. Time to appeal to a wider readership. Accordingly, I have decided to write this column with my shirt unbuttoned. Showing a bit of sk...

Zombie state

... I am so very tired. It’s so easy to get into deficit with sleep but it’s so hard to get into credit. I seem to be paying off an entire mortgage.

What makes a Kiwi?

... I’ve been trying to figure out what defines me as a New Zealander. There’s a definite something that makes me Kiwi, but I’m not entirely sure what that some...

You’re not James Bond

... My favourite quote from the last couple of weeks comes from the former mayor of Auckland and governor general, Dame Catherine Tizard. When asked what she th...

Warm fuzzy

... The column I wrote about my grandmother's 90th birthday landed really well out there. This letter was published in the Bay of Plenty Times a few days after ...

Disagree with me

... Sorry, but you’ll never get me to “agree to disagree”. That’s a phrase I disagree with. Agreeing to disagree is not an agreement at all. It’s an impasse. It...

Smacking

... It’s outrageous to think that it was recently okay to whack other people’s children with a big stick or with a slab of leather. Yet that’s how the world wor...

Mud slinging

... I try to avoid being uncharitable about others in writing. I don’t think it matters that the person you’re insulting will probably never see your Facebook p...

Christmas juggernaut

... ‘Tis the season of the Christmas smackdown, the epic fight between wants and needs. The smartest gift shopping in the world won’t rescue your bank account f...

Links to GMO articles

... I’m no scientist, what the hell am I doing writing about this stuff? I’m just a guy trying to figure out why he’s not comfortable marching against Monsanto....

Street piano

... A piano is also a portal into the past. When wrestling with Chopin, for example, I’m discovering notes that he wrote over 150 years ago. “Why did you write ...

Twerking

... The online Urban Dictionary has the most enjoyable definition I’ve found for twerking: “The rhythmic gyrating of the lower fleshy extremities in a lasciviou...

Whisky escape

... If you were to shuffle our three brains and deal them out like a pack of cards you would find, in random order, a librarian, doctor, poet, christian, humani...

Jam rage

... Some kind of evil genius must be at work. We are way beyond trying to keep germs out here. This is no ordinary tamper-free lid, it is a triple layered reinf...

Love your city

... I am a parent, a poet, a coffee drinker, a guy who rides a bicycle to work. I enjoy many things about living here but I would not yet say that I have a full...

Seduced by online bargains

... Hello, internet shopping, you sexy thing. You’re so seductively cheap. You tantalize me with your low slung prices. Then you strip down your shipping fees a...

Georgie Pie returns

... “Sir, there’s a kid touring the country with another damn Georgie Pie sign. And check out the Facebook page. There’s thousands of them. They’re like zombies...

Exercise versus illness

... I love being fit. Love it! My lungs feel like they’ve been sluiced clean with a water blaster. My brain feels sharper. Healthy body, healthy mind. What a pr...

Coffee snobbery

... I knew a woman who would always order an extra large half-strength trim latte. That's offensive on so many levels. Why even bother with the coffee at all? J...

Braving the twitterzone

... I’m guessing most normal people don’t understand Twitter any better than I do. The twitterzone is intimidating, like a huge room filled with unbearably cool...

Bombing a marathon

... When the bombers are eventually caught they should be made to run their own marathon. Barefoot. No interrogation, no questions, just push them onto the road...

Space cow

... I’d love to visit space. It intimidates and fascinates me. It is immense, deadly and uncaring. It will outlast us all. We are so intent on our little lives ...

Gay marriage

... This slippery slope argument we’ve been hearing from some quarters drives me particularly bonkers. The slippery slope argument implies we are on the verge o...

Bad guys

... I invent bad guys for myself all the time. That person at work who doesn’t understand my point of view, that faceless organisation I think is screwing me ov...

Teachers are amazeballs

... Some people poo-poo the long holidays that teachers enjoy but I poo-poo that straight back. I think teachers are gobsmackingly heroic. They stagger into tho...